Discordian Opening Ritual

By:   Prince Prance

1. Clap x5

2. The Erisian Cross:

“Light in my Head
Fire in my genitals Strength at my Right side Laughter at my Left side Love in my Heart.”

3. Trace Spiral Pentagrams at the 4 quarters & zenith.

4. Face East:
“Blessed Apostle Hung Mung, great Sage of Cathay, Balance the Hodge and Podge and grant us equilibrium.”

5. Face South:
“Blessed Apostle Van Van Mojo, Doctor of Hoodoo and Vexes, Give us the Voodoo Power and confuse our enemies.”

6. Face West:
“Blessed Apostle Sri Syadasti, patron of psychedelia, Teach us the relative truth and blow our minds.”

7. Face North:
“Blessed Apostle Zarathud, hard-nosed hermit, Grant us the Erisian doubt, and the constancy of Chaos.”

8. Look up (or down):
“Blessed Apostle Malaclypse, Elder Saint of Discordia, Grant us illumination and protect us from stupidity.”

9. Look all over the place:

“Great Goddess Discordia, Holy Mother Eris, Joy of the Universe, Laughter of Space, Grant us Life, Light, Love and Liberty and make the bloody magick work!”

10. “Hail Eris! All Hail Discordia!